Center of Gravity
by supergirls2008
Summary: Alpha Kesley was just following his mission... until he wasn't. The infamous train scene in Scarlet, from Wolf's POV, as he struggles with the decisions of loyalty and love. One-shot.


**A/N: This is my first Lunar Chronicles fanfic and it has a backstory! The first time I read Scarlet, I completely believed Wolf's story. I thought he had ran away from the pack and was just helping Scarlet. I thought he didn't tell her about the pack to protect her, but it was just a part of his plan to help her.**

 **Then I reread the book and slowly I began to realize my explanation didn't make sense... Until suddenly I realized WOLF HAD BETRAYED ME! He was with the pack the whole time and at some point had switched his allegiance to Scarlet (You are all probably not surprised by this). Anyway, I then reread Scarlet AGAIN to try to decide at what point his allegiance switches. And a fanfiction was born.**

 _I have since forgiven Wolf, in case you were curious. He is once again my favorite character._

 **HUGE Shoutout to sweetwaterspice, who co-wrote this! If not for her, you would have been left without the awesome cute (and sexy!) ending.**

* * *

 **WOLF POV**

I pushed aside the jagged arm of another branch, holding it back for Scarlet to pass beneath the sharp protruding joints that could, in my estimation, injure her. Once again, I had to shove aside the image of what it would be like to take her small body into my oversize frame as she brushed past me. I hadn't been around many women since I was a child that weren't thermautages and compared to them, Scarlet seemed so fragile. Not that she would appreciate hearing it. She would probably hit me. Yet the sight of her hips swaying and the faint smell of her sweat tempted me as we made our way through the forest.

When she had returned from the dining car, the smell of Ran on Scarlet, my Scarlet, had driven me crazy. Did Jael suspect I was beginning to doubt my mission? Is that why he had sent Ran to check on me? Or had Ran come of his own volition to try and kill me?

Jael had reason for concern. At some point I had forgotten my mission. Here, in the woods with her, I could almost pretend I could really escape the pack. Live free, like I had wanted to for so long. Live with her. Laughing with Scarlet… the kindness in her voice… the gentleness of her touch… I had almost forgotten who, or more accurately what, I was. I wasn't a normal man who could fall in love. And I certainly wasn't someone who could be loved in return.

The moment I saw her surprised reaction at the glaring wrongness of my implanted teeth, I was reminded of what I was and why I was here. Scarlet would hate me if she knew the truth about me. So I had tried to get the information Jael needed. Tried to focus on the mission and not the beautiful red-headed girl who I was betraying.

But every betrayal was hitting me in the gut.

Now, waiting to jump onto a moving train, I wasn't sure I had ever felt so confused or desperate.

"Scarlet," I said, as I listened to the train approach, "it's in her best interest, and yours, to give them something. Please, think. If you know anything at all, we may be able to use it to our advantage." I had already questioned her. I knew she trusted me, and I had asked everything I could think of to jog her memory. Anything that would give me an excuse to return to the pack without her, to assure Jael I had learned everything she knew. For Scarlet to return to her farm and be safe, I needed something, anything to tell Jael.

"About Princess Selene," she said in a resigned voice. I nodded eagerly.

"I don't know anything." Scarlet shrugged, "I don't know anything."

I stared at her for a long moment. I believed her. Damn it, I believed her. She didn't know anything. As much as I despised it, I knew she would tell me if she did. She trusted me completely. I let go of her wrist, incredibly frustrated, my two natures battling each other. I needed to protect her from Jael's tortures. But loyalty to the pack had been so painfully engrained in me, I didn't know how to resist. Betraying them would mean my certain death, and probably Scarlet's too. "It's all right. We'll figure out something else," I finally said before turning my attention back to the immediate task at hand. "We have maybe thirty seconds. Once it's here, we'll need to act fast. No hesitation. Can you do that?"

"You're going to let me jump on my own this time?" A wave of longing crashed into me as I thought of how her body felt against mine in those moments I'd held her in my arms.

"Do you want to jump on your own?" I asked, my calm voice not betraying my true fervor as I moved Scarlet's bag, trying to distract myself from how much I wanted her to touch me again. She looked down at the tracks and I could smell her fear. Was her fear of me greater than her fear of jumping onto a moving train? Part of me hoped so. The other part wanted to shrivel up at the thought. As much as I hated the thought of her being afraid of me, I hoped some part of her still didn't trust me so my betrayal would not be so complete.

"Turn around," she commanded. When she climbed onto my back, every nerve on my body spiked and I tried to ignore the tingling of my skin where she touched me.

"I'm glad you told me everything," she said, inches away from my ear.

The softness of her voice as her breath brushed the shell of my ear made me shiver but guilt almost broke my heart at the words. She forgave me for the small lie I had admitted to, when the wealth of my deceit was unforgivable. "I should have told you sooner."

"Yes, you should have." Her cheek touched mine, sending a shock through me. I felt suddenly dizzy. "But I still don't despise you."

Then her lips brushed my cheek in the most tender gesture I could ever remember receiving. My whole body tensed and my heart drummed in my chest at the burning desire to pull her into my arms and claim her mouth with my own. My eyes were unfocused as I sensed the fumes of the approaching train. Still reeling, I dropped into a crouch, trying to steady myself, trying to remember my training. Were her lips always so soft? Why would she kiss me? Fifty yards and the train will be here. _Lean forward on the descent to brace against impact._ She had seen my teeth; a sign of the monster they had made me to be. But there had been no sign of disgust or repulsion. Could it be she still liked me? _I can't smell humans; it must be a cargo train._ She was attracted to me? No, that couldn't be it. _Counterweight to accommodate Scarlet's body clinging to me._ Scarlet. Scarlet was kind, so kind. _The drop is 20 feet. Or is it 25?_ It had just been a friendly kiss. Perhaps it was simply an Earthen custom?

My heart was racing too fast, my body too tight, when the train shook the log beneath us. My nerves were shooting with tingling bliss where Scarlet's legs wrapped around my waist, where her arms gripped my chest… where…

I snapped out of my reverie and jumped. As soon as we were in the air, I knew I had made a terrible mistake. My lack of concentration had thrown off my balance and caused me to misjudge the jump. We hit the train hard and I slipped. As if in slow motion, I felt Scarlet dig her nails into me uselessly, before my shirt ripped and she rolled from my back. I whipped my head around as she tumbled toward the edge of the train car.

NO! - I launched myself after her, using every ounce of strength that had been programmed into me. I thrust my arm out just as she tipped over the edge, capturing her wrist. My bullet wound screamed with pain, but I couldn't let go. Scarlet, my Scarlet, so precious to me, was hanging for dear life, screaming and thrashing as the world whizzed by us at 100 miles per hour.

I roared in agony and determination as I pulled her up, rolling her away from the edge and landing on top of her. My eyes danced across her body as I touched her face, her arms, willing her to be in one piece. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I said, my concentration now clear, as I brushed a blooming bruise on her wrist. Because of my mistake, she had almost died. I cursed myself for my inability to keep her safe, which she would certainly never forgive. "I lost focus, I slipped—I'm sorry. Scarlet. Are you all right?"

She was breathing roughly, trembling under my hands. Suddenly her fingers wrapped around mine, breaking me from my ministrations. "I'm all right," she gasped, shooting me a smile I didn't deserve. "I may have pulled something in my shoulder, but… you're bleeding."

Horrified at her lack of anger after I had been so reckless with her life, I grabbed her hand as she reached for me. I didn't deserve her care; I didn't deserve the touch I wanted so dreadfully. Panting with fear, horror, and anguish at how close I was to losing her, I stared at the woman who had taken the heart I didn't know I even possessed. And as I held her hand in mine I felt as if she had become my lifeline – my saving grace.

"I'm all right," she whispered. In a moment, she had wrapped her arms around me, pressing her body tightly against mine. My breath hitched at the feel of her body, the wild scent of her fear mixed with that of the forest. A war waged inside of me. I shouldn't do this. I shouldn't let her close…

Carelessly, I threw my arms around her, crushing her shaking frame against me, desperately grateful she was alive and unharmed. I squeezed my eyes shut against the images of her tumbling towards the edge of the train, images that would surely haunt my nightmares for years to come.

This trembling girl was the first person since my parents I had cared for. What had she done to me? How had I gone from confident alpha to a love-struck man? She had awoken humanity in me when I thought it was long gone. From the moment she had jumped up onto the bar to defend the lunar girl, I couldn't get her off my mind. Could there be a chance? Could anyone see the good in me, like Scarlet had seen the good in Linh Cinder, no matter what the other Earthens thought?

Her breathing began to steady, the tension loosening from her muscles, but not from mine. Terror had frozen my arms around her. Terror of letting go. Terror of what she was doing to me, who I was becoming in her presence. All I had ever known was pain, followed by the relief of surviving another day. What I felt, what I had been feeling since that day in the bar, shouldn't even be possible. I had long ago accepted what I was. And as much as I had hated the mutation at first, I was a damn good Alpha. A good fighter. But each time Scarlet touched me, or even looked at me, it sent a wave of confusion. The desire I felt for her… not only physical desire, but a desire to be close to her, hear her laugh… protect her. It was overwhelming.

I didn't want this moment to end, I wanted to pretend it would last. Long ago, I had accepted that no remnants of the person I had once been remained. But now I was falling for- No. That wasn't even possible. I am a mutant, a monster. That kind of thing isn't conceivable for me. Besides, when she eventually realizes the truth about me, she will never let me touch her again.

Scarlet pulled away gently, breaking the moment. Mere inches apart, I could smell her sweet scent combined with the remnants of the forest. They were scents imbedded in my memory banks that I would never forget; as if they had unknowingly become a part of me. She licked her lips and my eyes widened as she leaned towards me…

No. I retreated, trying to calm my pounding heart and the desire trickling through my veins. Kissing her would be wrong. Letting her care about me at all was wrong. She shouldn't care, she should hate me. She would hate me. And when she did, I couldn't have the memory of her soft lips on mine plaguing me. "We need to get down before we run into any tunnels," I managed, unable to look at her a second longer, my voice cracking under the strain of my agonized thoughts.

Scarlet and I made our way to the front of the car. Every time she stumbled even slightly, I had to resist reaching out and pulling her to me. _Stop this, Ze'ev. Focus on the mission._

I swung down to the platform, looking up to where Scarlet was framed by the bright sun. She looked ethereal as she reached down for me to catch her. Her waist was so soft, so delicate, my thumb accidentally brushing the trail of skin which had come free of her shirt. The scent of pheromones wafted from her. I could smell her desire for me. She ached for me as much I did for her. I inhaled her sweet aroma, allowing it to haunt me. It was powerful, making my mind whirl. She was so close, so willing… I wrenched my hands away and went into the dining car.

Jael would kill me if he knew my thoughts, teetering the edge of mutinous. I thought again of Ran and his unspoken threat against Scarlet. _"Master Jael wants us to return. All of us." All_ of us. Scarlet. My mission to make Scarlet trust me into giving me the information about the lunar princess had been cancelled, and now Jael wanted me to return her to him.

More and more, the decision in front of me was making itself.

The train car was filled with boxes. There wasn't enough room for Scarlet to sit down easily. As I began to move around containers, I wondered when Scarlet's comfort and safety had become the overwhelming priority of my life. Yet the thought of her being hurt or uncomfortable even for a brief moment, when I had the opportunity to help, seemed like an unimaginable choice.

How hurt will she be when she discovers my lies? Or worse, when Jael gets his hands on her? The other pack members? Revulsion shattered through me. But who was I, to pretend like I cared for her, when I had once planned to betray her so terribly? I felt as if I was being torn in two. Loyalty for the pack, conditioned so deeply into me through pain and torture, was fighting against the overwhelming urge to protect Scarlet, no matter the cost. I heard Scarlet enter the train car and gulped painfully, unable to look at her. She plopped down on a box, pulling a comb through her gorgeous, flowing red hair. I shuddered at the thought of what it would be like to run my hands through her locks and focused again on my now unnecessary task of moving boxes. When I finally had cleared a space large enough to seat an entire pack, I gave up, sitting down a foot away from her. Glancing at the beautiful woman next to me, I noticed a tendril of hair had fallen in her face. I gripped my hands in my lap, staring pointedly at the floor and digging my fingernails into my palms to resist the urge to reach up and brush it away.

I loved her. It wasn't so much of a sudden enlightenment as a realization it had been true the whole time. But how was it possible? Notwithstanding the fact that I had only known her for mere days, I shouldn't be able to feel any emotions this strongly, other than anger and pack loyalty. It shouldn't be possible for me to fall in love, but by some miracle, somewhere along this journey together she'd touched a part of me that I never thought I possessed.

I was hardly even-

The soft touch of Scarlet's fingers against my inner arm shocked me out of my thoughts, causing every muscle to tighten.

Scarlet's words broke the silence, "Was Ran telling the truth? Do you think they'll kill you for leaving them?" For a moment I froze, pure agony overtaking me. She was worried about me. She was concerned for my safety, when all I had done was lie to her and plan my betrayal. Even when she had seen the evidence marking me as one of Levana's monstrosities, she still cared.

"No," I finally said, my voice rough with guilt twisted with the vexing affection I felt for her. "You don't have to worry about me."

Her finger blazed a searing trail along a scar that ran from my wrist to my elbow. I wanted to close my eyes and throw back my head to enjoy the blazing pleasure of her touch, but instead I clenched my muscles further in frustration. "I'll stop worrying when this is all over. When we're all safely away from them."

I looked at her then, her soft eyes full of a compassion I didn't deserve, not missing the casual use of the word "we". As if we were an unbreakable team that would obviously stay together after we saved her grandmother. My gaze dropped in shame.

"What's this scar from?" she asked. "One of the fights?"

My head jerked towards her, and the way she was looking at me stoked a yearning to press her against my body, but I remained immobile. "Stupidity."

Scarlet bit her lip, leaning so close to my face her warm breath sent chills down my spine. "How about this one?" Her voice was soothing, soft, and full of tenderness. I wanted to hear her speak that way to me for eternity.

I ducked away from her, my breath coming in short spurts, distressed at how much I wanted her but knowing I shouldn't entertain such thoughts. "That was a bad one," I managed to say hoarsely.

Her fingers grazed my upper lip, "What about—"

I snatched her hand away from my face before she could finish, but not before tingling pleasure shot through me. I shouldn't have but I dared to glance at her own lips, wondering again how soft they would feel against my own. It was a trial to keep my hands off her when she was across the room, but doing so when she was touching me so gently was too much to bear. "Please stop," I begged.

Her pink tongue darted out and wetted her lips and I swallowed frantically at the sight, unsure how much more of this I could handle. I couldn't do this, it wasn't right. I had to bring her to Jael…

No. I couldn't. She could die.

He would kill me.

Scarlet was whispering something, but words were beyond my comprehension. I clutched her hand desperately, torn between jumping away from her and pulling her closer.

Her other hand was suddenly on my knuckles, and I sucked in air through my teeth, the unbelievable pleasure unlike anything I've ever experienced before.

Her fingers continued their excruciating journey up my arm. I had never been touched so intimately. I had gone years without a caring hand, without physical contact which didn't intend to cause pain. "They're just … they're what I'm used to," I said, my voice strained.

"What do you mean?"

I gulped, unable to answer. _She_ wasn't what I was used to. These thoughts and feelings were so foreign it scared me more than a battle ever had.

Her assault was relentless as she brushed my jaw, my cheeks…and I could feel the walls of my resolve crumbling until not a brick was left standing.

Giving in, I nuzzled into her hand, which was tangled in my hair.

"It came from a fight," I murmured, "Just another pointless fight. All of them."

I wasn't prepared for the explosion in my chest when her responding kiss took the breath from me. Her lips were warm and as soft as a feather, then, gone too quickly.

And I knew then, as if gravity shifted beneath me, that this woman owned me completely. I sighed, resigned to my own uncertain future- the failure of my mission, the torture that would come when Jael found out- because none of it mattered. This girl was the only thing that mattered, the only good that would ever come out of my life, the only reason I had now to live. And even if it cost me everything, I would risk it all to pull her in my arms from this day forward.

So I did.

All sense of time and direction vanished and all I felt was Scarlet's body against me, her lips sweetly pressing against mine, once, twice and again. I needed her closer, the scent of her body, the way she kissed me, encased me with a headiness that commanded to feed every forbidden thought in my mind. Before I could remind myself it was a bad idea, I had already pulled her closer, my hand slipping into the mess of red hair.

Her hand slowly slid over the rough stubble of my jaw and shocks of pleasure shot through me. I wanted more. I wanted to feel it again. I groaned and in that instant there was an explosion inside of me. It was not the burst of anger I was used to, but of desire and a need that had been dormant for too long. It begged for release. Scarlet's lips parted and her tongue brushed along mine. My heart skipped beats and I found it increasingly difficult to breathe. Suddenly, the temperature spiked. I was heat and Scarlet was fanning the flames, fire-hot licking my insides.

Her arms crept around my neck and I shifted, bringing her on to my lap. Slender fingers dug into my hair, curling, tightening around my mane triggering something more primal. She moaned. My hands found purchase of her hips, squeezing lightly. Our kiss had become more insistent as if this would be our one and only opportunity.

My mouth found her neck and I breathed in her bouquet – a mind-altering sweetness of desire and craving that matched my own. My ears perked at the sounds of delight that floated off her lips as I marked a trail over her throat, her head falling back to allow the tender assault of my kisses. I had never imagined anything as fabulous as this. I knew what it felt like to lust after a woman, but this was not just any woman. This was Scarlet. And I was irreversibly in love with her.

My mind was reeling as her affection began to travel to places on my body that like a sponge, soaked in every caress, every brush of her fingertips. Her mouth teased my ear and the exhale of her breath against it only served to consume my mind with one thought. I needed her.

I dared to slip the fingers of a hand beneath her shirt, skimming the soft skin of her lower back. She pulled back to look at me and I froze, hoping I hadn't ruined this moment. But there was a glint in her eyes. And with a swift motion, Scarlet had peeled the outer layer of her red hoodie above her head. I was speechless as my chest heaved. I swallowed. Did she? Could I? I decided in an instant, yes, I could.

She smiled, perhaps seeing the debate waging in my head. Her small hands cupped my face and those sweet lips were on me once more. There was a passion behind her kiss, and I growled as he pulled on my bottom lip with her teeth. My hands rose higher under her shirt, feeling the dip of her spine and soon my other hand joined to revel in the smooth texture of her skin. Scarlet's kisses mapped my neck and her fingers dug into my shoulders.

The stimuli were beyond anything I had ever experienced, so raw and intense. And I pulled back. A thought flashed in my foggy mind.

"Wha…What's wrong?" she asked, breathing hard.

I shook my head, pressing a hand to the side of her cheek.

"I…I can't do this, Scarlet." Because now the space between us allowed my head to clear, I realized now was not the time. Not when she was in danger, not before I figured a way to get her out of it. And not when she would regret it when she realized my deceit.

There was confusion clearly on her face.

"I mean…I want to..." I amended immediately, not wanting her to get the wrong idea. "I mean…I really, really, really want…"

She smiled and kissed me. "Wolf…"

I cut her off. "Not here, Scarlet. Not like this. And if we don't stop now, I don't think I'll be able to."

She let out a sigh of disappointment. "Alright…"

I wrapped my arms around her and she nuzzled her face into my neck, her slender arms comfortable folded around my shoulders. "When this is all over then?" she asked, her words vibrating off my skin.

"Yeah…when this is all over."


End file.
